Grief and the Mind-Body Connection
By Lisa Havelin, LMFT
When we lose a beloved animal companion, the impact is not only emotional or cognitive—it is deeply physical. Grief lives in the body.
You may notice this in subtle or pronounced ways: a heaviness in the chest, a sinking feeling in the stomach, fatigue, restlessness, or a feeling of numbness. These are not random or unrelated experiences. They are expressions of the mind–body connection—your whole being responding to loss.
What Is Meant by the “Mind–Body Connection”?
At its heart, the mind–body connection is a reminder that although we are taught to understand our experience primarily through thinking—through analysis, cognition, and language—we also possess a mind of the body.
We have three minds: the mind of the mind, the mind of the heart, and the mind of the gut.
When we speak of the mind–body connection, we are being invited to widen our awareness beyond the thinking mind to include the other two—the mind of the heart and the mind of the gut. The phrase points us back to a truth that is easy to forget: all three are always communicating, always influencing one another.
In grief, this becomes especially clear.
You may think one thing—“I should be okay,” or “I need to move on”—while your body tells a different story. The body does not follow timelines or expectations. It responds to love, attachment, and loss in its own way.
The Body Speaks in Subtle Ways
Most of us only notice our bodies when they send urgent signals: thirst, hunger, pain, fear, or danger. But the body is constantly offering more nuanced information that often never reaches conscious awareness.
Subtler signals—such as anxiety, intuition, fatigue, constriction, warmth, tenderness, love, or an impulse to move or withdraw—are always present, quietly shaping our choices and responses.
In grief, these signals may feel louder, more persistent, or harder to interpret.
When we practice listening to the body, we begin to “hear” these cues more clearly. Over time, this awareness can guide us toward choices that support safety and care in the midst of loss.
We may learn to rest before exhaustion overtakes us.
When a quiet sense of unease arises, we can pause and gently check in.
When we notice tightness or constriction, we can invite breath, movement, or support.
When a small sense of calm or steadiness appears, we can allow ourselves to lean into it.
These are small but meaningful ways of tending to ourselves in grief.
Interoception: Learning the Language of the Body
The mind–body connection ultimately asks us to strengthen our capacity for interoception—our ability to sense and interpret internal signals from the body.
This is not something we are always taught, but it is something we can learn.
Interoception can be developed through simple, gentle practices such as:
Mindful breathing—bringing awareness to the physical sensation of the breath entering and leaving the body
Meditation
Grounding practices, such as feeling your feet on the earth
Mindful movement or stretching
Journaling with curiosity about bodily sensations, without judgment
These practices are not about changing what you feel. They are about becoming more familiar with it.
Grief Is Not Resolved Through Thinking Alone
When we feel uncomfortable emotions, it is natural to try to think our way out of them. We search for meaning, replay moments, or try to make sense of what has happened.
But thinking harder rarely shifts what we feel.
Grief is not something the mind can solve.
Instead, healing often begins when we allow ourselves to sense into the body—creating space to feel, and gently “befriend” what arises. This is how the body begins to process the emotional reality of loss.
It takes practice to soften out of the thinking mind and turn toward the wisdom of the body.
Over time, we begin to learn that the body knows how to process experience on its own—that not everything needs to be, nor can be, worked through with thought alone.
Your grief is not only something you carry in your mind.
It is something your whole body is moving through—
in its own time, and in its own way.
Lisa Havelin, LMFT, specializes in the human-animal bond, grief and bereavement, trauma, somatic mindfulness, and chronic pain.